This photo was not taken today, but it seemed fitting.

Today was definitely harder than Monday, if only because  I knew how much it was going to hurt, and how uncomfortable I wouldbe. But still – I didit. I even passed someone on one of my “jogging” intervals which amazed me.

For those who don’t know, Couch to 5k is a program to get you off the couch and slowly train you to run 5k (a pretty standard race distance). For week one, I’m supposed to jog/run for 60 seconds, then walk briskly for 90 seconds, repeating this for 20 minutes (plus warm up and cool down). I’m using an app on my phone called RunDouble to keep track of the intervals – a weird sounding computer woman tells me to run and walk at the correct times, so I don’t have to keep staring at my watch.

I won’t lie. Sixty seconds of jogging? Feels like an eternity. The only thing that saved me a couple of times today was a good song in my earphones (“Xanadu” – no, I’m not kidding) and kind of looking ahead on the track to give myself a distance goal. Like, “Hey, I bet I’ll finish this interval at that bench. No, wait, that street light.” Then I’d get a little jolt of satisfaction when I reached that spot and the woman tells me I can start walking again.

I know I’m going to have to do week one for a few weeks to build up my endurance. I seriously cannot even comprehend jogging more than a minute at a time, or even going faster than the snail’s pace I’m keeping now. But at least I’m doing it, right? Right! Onward!

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About a month ago, I thought I’d finally made the decision to get in shape. I knew then that I needed to start exercising, start eating better, to start treating myself better. But you know how it goes. One day, you think you’ll start, but then you just don’t. Starting is hard, y’all. Starting is harder than anything. Typically I do not like to do hard things. Easy is just so much easier.

Then today, I went to my GYN for my annual exam. (Don’t balk, I’m not going there.) Due to unemployment and what not, it had been awhile since I’d seen her. In fact, it had been about three years. In that time, I’d gained 15 pounds. My blood pressure was elevated, but not dangerous (the “yet” went unspoken). “Is your regular doctor screening you for diabetes?” she asked. She pointed out some other conditions I have related to my weight gain that I had been able to ignore. Until today.

I used to pride myself on my low blood pressure (“I faint if I stand up too quickly!”). I always felt younger than my years, at least in my head. But something has happened in the past 5 years or so. I’ve never had an easy time keeping my weight down, but I just let myself go. I’ve gained over 50 pounds in that short amount of time. I get winded walking up one flight of stairs. I don’t think twice about adding salt to my plate, or eating an extra scoop of ice cream even if I’m already full. And while there’s nothing wrong with being heavy if you’re healthy, I’ll just say it – I’m not healthy.

Today, it finally twigged. I finally realized that I needed to take control. I called Mr. Martini and asked him to throw away all the sweets that had accumulated in the house recently. He happily complied, and was astonished to learn I’d been hoarding some candy and chocolate in the pantry.

Proud of this first step, I figured that was enough for one day. As I was heading out the door from work, I thought “And then tomorrow night, I’ll go out and take a walk.”

Then I caught myself. Why wait until tomorrow? What was wrong with tonight? What was wrong with right now?

Couch to 5K Day One – Complete. 1.18 miles, 15:43 pace

That hurt. A lot. But not so much that I’m not going to do it again on Wednesday.

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